


A Bona Fide Shaman

by Krisser__kris



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-02-19
Updated: 2001-02-19
Packaged: 2017-12-05 11:56:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krisser__kris/pseuds/Krisser__kris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair doubts his ability to be a good shaman and goes to Peru to be sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bona Fide Shaman

**A Bona Fide Shaman**

**by Krisser**

 

Detective Jim Ellison was glad to be home. Working with another agency, especially one where he couldn’t bring his guide, was hell. He was looking forward to his guide’s friendly face, hearing that soothing voice. But as he exited the passenger ramp, he saw a friendly face, just not the one he had hoped to see.

“Simon, good to see you. Where’s Sandburg?”

“I’m fine, Jim, thanks for asking. Peru.” Simon answered Jim’s greeting.

“Why in the hell is he in Peru?” Jim stopped in place.

Simon stopped, seeing Jim not moving behind him. “Come on, Jim, the letter’s in the car. He called down there but they said you were on stake out and wouldn’t put him through.”

“Shit, they told me I got no calls. You should of called…”

The Captain held up his hand to stop his detective’s tirade, “I offered but Sandburg didn’t want to cause you any trouble with your superiors down there.” Simon watched Jim’s face soften for a second at his partner’s thoughtfulness.

Jim started to ask more then stopped himself, he knew there was more than Simon was saying. Instead, he asked, hiding his face, “Is he coming back?”

“Two weeks, Jim.” Simon smiled, the question itself giving much away. He started walking again and Jim followed. Banks unlocked his car with the remote and popped the trunk for Ellison’s luggage.

The dark man then pointed the to letter on the passenger seat. “Sandburg has the original. He made a copy and translated it for me.” Answering the unspoken question.

Jim fingered the envelope, it was in Quechua, the Chopec language. The envelope was addressed to The Shaman Spirit Guide to the Sentinel of the Great City. He pulled out the letter.

Shaman for Enqueri,

It is time Shaman. A great gathering starts at the next new moon. It will end with the full moon. We need you to be complete. You will greatly aid Sentinel with the sharing.

Secaneri.

Simon waited for Jim to finish, but Jim stayed silent. So Simon asked, “Kid do okay with the translation?”

“Yeah. When did he learn Quechua?” Jim was just thinking aloud.

Simon knew the answer because he had asked. “Sandburg said that he had been studying it since he came back from Peru. You didn’t know he could understand the Chopec language?” He knew his friend denied many things about the kid.

Jim ignored the last bit that Simon said and inquired instead, “So based on this letter you let him go for two weeks?”

Simon smiled to himself, “He had caught up on all the paper work to all your cases and besides, he hasn’t had any time off in a very long time.” Jim’s friend paused, then included his own observation. “Jim, it wasn’t so much what Blair said, but how he said it that convinced me to let him go.”

Jim turned to look at Simon’s profile, he could see the worry lines in his face and feel his heartbeat increase. “What did he say?”

“He told me that he had to be better. He said that he wasn’t much of a guide and certainly not a shaman. That he was missing important steps to ensure the long life of the sentinel. Jim, it was his voice, defeated almost. I let him go.”

Jim nodded, lost in his own thoughts. His guide didn’t think he was good enough. Jim knew this came back to him, he just didn’t know how to fix it. He did know that he couldn’t go two more weeks without his guide’s voice to soothe his nerves.

“Simon, I need to go to Peru.”

“Yes, Jim, I figured as much. Sandburg cleared your desk too. I already put it on the books.”

Jim looked at Simon again, “How…?”

“Jim, you need to find out why Sandburg hasn’t been Sandburg for a while. It’s not being a cop. He loves it. He’s good at it and he knows that. You need to look closer to home.” Simon pulled onto Prospect street. “Call me and tell me when we’re going back to the airport.”

Jim nodded as he got out of the truck, “Thanks for picking me up.”

“Sandburg made me promise.” Simon smiled as he drove away.

Jim went up to his empty loft.

\---------

Peru

Blair wished he could stay and enjoy Lima, he never tired of the cultural treasures that surrounded him there. But instead he located his charted helicopter and embarked on the next leg of his journey.

From the landing site, the Anthropologist knew he had a full days hike in. Socaneri had written that he would be met part way. He was sorry that Jim wasn’t here, he’d know what was all was around. He wasn’t worried exactly, but when he was with Jim, nothing was seen as unmanageable.

It was late afternoon when the Chopec guide intercepted the Cascade shaman. Blair tried his language skills on him. Dannoek was quite happy to converse in his own language. He had been sent because he could speak their Sentinel’s language.

They made the gathering encampment about two hours after sunset. They were greeted by many Chopec tribe members. Blair recognized the face painting. The Chopec warrior who had come to Cascade and the one whose life he had saved.

In Quechua, Blair said, “Greetings, Thank you for inviting me.”

“We celebrate that you appear.” Pleased that the white shaman spoke their language. Ennote bowed his head.

Sandburg’s pack was taken from him as he was ushered to the fire for warm food. He ate hungrily and gratefully.

Socaneri came out to greet him and the Chopec was more than pleased to hear the shaman speak Quechua with real ability. Translation lost a lot in a language exchange. He introduced the young shaman to all that were in the vicinity.

Blair was working hard at keeping track of all the different names. He knew that he had met at least seven shaman from four different tribes altogether. Not one was a guide for a true sentinel. The most was four heightened senses.

The full sentinel guide questioned the shaman and found that they too had to deal with the zone out factor. They talked and shared well late into the night. Socaneri and Ennote were pleased at the white shaman’s reception.

Blair was given his own hut and he found his sleeping bag already laid out. He thanked Socaneri and told how much he appreciated the invitation and looked forward to this opportunity.

In English the Chopec answered, “The circle is only complete with your presence.”

Blair smiled at the polite compliment as the Chopec shaman left him alone.

The next two days were spent from sun up to dusk exchanging their tales, aquatinting themselves. They went from visitors to comrades.

The third day was for sharing tricks that had great success. Blair was the star here. Many attendees were amazed and more were drawn into his sharing stories. He had not studied the ways of a shaman and still had been able to accomplish more than most who were trained from birth for their roles.

Blair was unaware of how the crowd grew around him. He was caught up in the excitement of sharing Jim’s abilities. To be able to speak openly of all that his Sentinel could do was heaven to the guide. He tried to find the right words to convey some of the humorous situations that had encountered. But the concept of the dials became the big favorite.

On the fringes, a Chopec scout signaled Socaneri and the leader stepped away unnoticed to receive the message. Their Sentinel was coming.

\------

The afternoon was filled with plant and herb remedies. Blair wrote fast and furious to get it all down. There were so many good possibilities for Jim’s pain relief in the discussions. Blair shared how living in a great city produced many chemicals that were adverse to his Sentinel and they discovered the correct products to work as counter-reactors.

At the evening meal, the foreign guide was surrounded by the younger guides in training. They asked many questions of him, awed by his success and lack of training. Blair was patient with each young man, not sure why they found him so interesting. He made it easy for them by staying put by the fire until the last youth left for bed.

\---------

Jim Ellison landed and headed right out. The area familiar to his memory. He jogged most of the way. His need to hear his guide was increasing. The reason why alluded him, but he worked on gut instinct enough to know when to follow it.

Different memories trickled in and he thought on how he needed to share them with Sandburg.

\--------

“Hey Jim I didn’t expect you here.” Blair smiled to see Jim’s face.

“I felt the need to come to Peru. You didn’t have to come down here to help me. I accept my abilities and I am coping with them fine. You didn’t need to come down here, put yourself in danger.” Jim didn’t say exactly what he wanted to, hoping that Sandburg would figure it out.

“Jim I’m glad you’re content with your abilities. You have been more focused since they renamed you. I’m just not sure what I’m doing here. You’re not really needing me and I have failed you more than once. I needed to learn if there is any longer a purpose for me to be with you.” Blair ran his fingers through his hair and as no comment was forthcoming he continued. “You didn’t need to come down here. Aside from how I look, I am a capable adult and have probably been in more countries than you. I can look after myself.”

“I’m suppose to protect my guide.” Jim said the first thing that fused into solid thought.

“You’re here out of duty.” The little spark that had ignited at Jim’s presence, smothered and died, along with the guide’s hope. The flatness of tone escaped the Sentinel’s notice. “Jim, I’m here among many capable warriors. I’m in good hands. Go home.” Blair turned and rejoined one of the discussion groups.

Socaneri approached the man that was still their sentinel in his mind. “Enqueri, I knew you would come.”

Jim looked to Incacha’s friend, “You did?”

“Yes, your guide is here.” Said as though it were the obvious conclusion.

“He told me to go,” Jim announced flatly, a forlorn look in the back of his eyes.

“Yes, he is much troubled.” The Chopec replied knowingly.

“Why?”

“Stay and you will learn,” The Shaman told him.

“He doesn’t want me to.” Jim was only just realizing how lost that made him feel.

“But he needs you.” Stated as though he that explained everything.

Jim watched his guide, animated and surprisingly fluent in Quechua. Well, Simon had already given him the time. Decided, he said, “I will need a hut.”

Socaneri pointed to the furthest one, “That is yours. It is also that of your guide’s.”

Jim turned to watch Blair then back to the Chopec, only to discover that he was gone. Jim walked to the hut.

\-----

Blair forced his mind to stay on the Chopec stories. It was more difficult than his contributions let on. He knew that Jim had not left. He didn’t know why he stayed.

Blair reminded himself that he needed to remain focused. He had to find a purpose to stay with Jim. Loved or not, he would die without Jim in his life. Never in his entire life had anyone filled up so much within him.

\-------

Jim stretched out on his sleeping bag and waited for Sandburg. He found his guide’s heartbeat and tracked it. As he let it lull him to sleep, he realized it was the first time in ten days that he felt grounded. That woke him with a start. He needed his guide’s heartbeat to sleep? What was he going to do when Sandburg moved away.

Jim thought about what Simon said, about the last six months. He thought that Sandburg was happy being a cop. Jim had never thought of it that way, just that the observer had been left with no other choices and that he had felt honor bound to remain Jim’s partner.

Jim had never considered that his partner might actually be happy doing and being a cop. He let his memories drift back over the last half year. He remembered the first time Sandburg put his cuffs on a perp. He bounced, he smiled and Jim didn’t return it. Jim had been feeling guilty, and had looked at everything his partner did through that guilt. As he played case after case in his mind and watched each view of his partner, his breath caught in his throat. The bounce grew less and less and that was his fault. He thought the bounced stopped because of the work, but it had stopped because of him.

He heard his guide grow closer, he closed his eyes and feigned sleep.

Blair entered the hut and saw Jim asleep. He called out quietly, “Jim?” He received no answer. He covered him with his bag and stepped back out into the night.

He walked outside the encampment and headed to a clearing he remembered from yesterday.

Jim listened to the heartbeat go from racing to a more natural calm rhythm. He stretched his hearing to follow him also.

He heard his partner’s heartbeat reach a meditative level and felt himself calm along with it. He fell asleep in its steady cadence.

Blair knew that he had calmed his body but could do nothing to calm his mind. His anger, depression and love all warred within him and he sought stronger inner control. He finally walked back to the hut and allowed Jim's breathing to lull him to sleep.

\------

For the several days Jim and Blair fell into a routine. Blair would continue with the shaman gathering and Jim would help the young scouts. Jim also helped the braves hunt.

Each night Blair would head for the clearing to meditate. Jim followed with his hearing. That first night Blair had been silent, but not nights since.

Blairspeak.

Many times through the years, Jim had come home to Blair talking aloud to himself. The short time that Larry had lived with them, Blair had actually directed his speech to the critter, otherwise it was to the room it self. Jim secretly loved Blairspeak.

The second night it sounded like he was talking to someone or something else. // I recognize you from the vision. You must be my spirit guide. Were you Incacha’s before. No, huh. Well good. I kinda like the fact that you’re just mine.

Wolves are a wonderful animal. They bond for life, are loyal and steadfast parents and have honor within their packs. Thank you.//

Jim sat up, Sandburg had a wolf with him? A wolf in the jungle? Then Jim remembered the vision that brought Blair back and recalled the white wolf. His spirit guide.

// Why did you bring the panther? Is Jim all right?//

Jim heard the panic in his guide’s voice and his heartbeat raced. He wanted to get up and run to his guide, reassure him, but a growl within his head kept him in his spot.

// Okay, okay. I get the idea. You’re just here for a visit. You are sure that Jim is fine. Okay. Well then welcome. How come I can see you too. Oh, just can. You have been with Jim too much. Your thoughts sound like him. I wish I could do this to him as I do it to you. You have much more hair though.//

Jim sat there listening to the giggle that followed the hair comment and found himself jealous of his own spirit animal. Jim then questioned himself, how was it that Sandburg could see his guide?

The third night his guide was much more melancholy but still talking to his wolf. Probably the panther too. // Thanks for being here to hug. I really need them. It’s crazy, I know, but at times even with all these people around, I feel all alone. Some of the guides talk of shared times with their sentinels and I find myself jealous. Mine is looking for a way to make it without me. And you, you big purrball, can’t pass along my thoughts. Okay, I accept that if it were a life threatening situation you could share. Thank you for being here too. //

Jim knew he was jealous of his panther. Now with his spirit animal’s promise he couldn’t discuss what he’d heard. Oh, that’s a good one Ellison, how would have you explained it before?

His guide wasn’t happy and he wanted to be. Wanted to be happy with his sentinel. Me. How?

The fourth night was completely different. That night Jim found himself running to the erratic heartbeat that was pounding in his guide’s chest and the fear that was rolling off his body. The Sentinel kept his hearing wide open and he made his way to Sandburg.

Blair stood quietly, fearfully as the knife was just touching his neck. Hurtful words whispered in his ear, “We don’t need a pretend shaman here. You soil us with your pretense. Go home.”

The figured disappeared as Jim burst into the clearing. He heard the rustle of the brush but ran to his guide instead. He pulled the shaking figure into his arms and spoke gently, “Chief, you’re okay. I got you. His words were full of shit.” Jim just held on.

Folded within Jim’s arms, Blair stood, drinking the feel in. The threat seemed miles away inside the safe heaven he was held in. He didn’t note how long they stood that way, he didn’t care. He did know that his wolf paced and the panther prowled. Back and forth, back and forth.

Jim’s animal guide told him that their vision had been clouded. That meant it was another shaman that had threatened his guide’s life. The panther promised a more diligent watch.

Jim was so caught up within the varied sensations of the man in his arms that he did not understand the importance of his animal spirit’s words.

Jim lead Blair back to their hut as Socaneri approached. “What happened? My animal spirit urged me to your guide, Enqueri.”

“A shaman pressed a knife to Blair’s throat and threatened him. My spirit animal told me his sight had been clouded.” Jim told him as he held onto his guide.

Socaneri turned his head, “You were there also?”

“No, I heard the words as I ran to him. I knew by the spiked heart rate that my guide was in trouble.”

“You mentioned your animal spirit?”

“Oh, he was with Blair, but I wasn’t.” Jim shared, not knowing of any significance in the action.

The Chopec leader put his hand on Blair’s arm, “Could you recognize anything that would identify him?”

Jim answered, “I would know the whisper.”

Socaneri nodded and looked deep into Jim’s eyes then left them.

Jim took Blair into their hut and sat him down. The shocky look hadn’t left his guide’s eyes so Jim knelt beside him. “Talk to me, Chief.”

“No warning. Not even the guides knew. He pressed it enough that I couldn’t swallow.” Blair tried to keep his voice even.

“His words were meant to hurt, but they aren’t true. Chief, please believe that.” Jim tried to get eye contact.

Whispered for only sentinel ears, “I really don’t know for sure, Jim.” Little shivers of reaction shook his body.

Jim took him into his arms again and Blair melted into it, needing the contact, needing the contact with Jim.

Jim held him until Blair fell asleep. Then he gently laid him down, took off his shoes and covered him up. He found himself wanting to brush the hair out of Blair’s face and press a kiss onto his forehead. He held himself back, not understanding his own needs. He laid on his bag, concentrating on his guide’s heartbeat, keeping watch throughout the night.

\---------

The next day, Jim stayed within eye contact of his guide. Blair had insisted that he would continue on as if nothing happened. In the light of day he did not want to give into the fear and give his attacker the satisfaction.

The other sentinel’s were due in late tomorrow, so the topic centered on the different sentinel/guide bonds. Blair took detailed notes and was aghast at some of the new information that had never appeared in Burton’s book.

The guide’s spoke of their own bonds and most were of an intimate nature. Blair remained silent as different shaman and guides spoke. He learned that unbonded sentinels were more aggressive and tended to be rough with their different sex partners. He was dismayed to learn that sentinel/guides that didn’t bond usually had much shorter life spans. The gender of the bonded seemed completely immaterial.

He discovered that there were some real love matches and some matches were just for the sex. Both, though, spoke of their intensified connection, facilitating their working relationships. This intrigued the scientist in Blair and guided the questions to that area to gain more information.

Evidently the danger factor signal was enhanced by the bond. So of course this would lead to longer life spans of those sentinel/guide relationships. He also discovered that there were rare occasions that the bond was so strong that the spirit animal guides were interactive. Blair continued to take notes as his brain worked triple overtime assimilating all the new information. He was surprised to find it growing dark when he finally took notice of his surroundings.

Jim had spent a good portion of the day back tracking Blair’s assailant. Even though tracks were wiped away, Jim could still follow them and was able to narrow it down to just two. Jim felt a modicum of relief that neither were of Socaneri village. He shared the information with the Chopec leader and then spent the rest of the afternoon close to his guide. He caught the tail end of their discussions and was unnerved by some of the implications. What kind of bonding had Blair been studying?

\--------

They ate the evening meal side by side. Jim touched his guide under any pretext he could use. Short of dragging him onto his lap, Jim needed to keep his guide safe, needed to stay by his side.

At the end of the evening, Blair was torn about going to the clearing. He didn’t want to give into the fear, but he didn’t feel comfortable going alone.

Jim sensed the quandary and solved it. “I will stand guard. You need not fear.”

Blair nodded his thanks and together they headed for the clearing. Blair sat in the middle of the clearing, forcing himself to relax. He saw Jim blend in and put his senses on high alert. Blair felt safe.

Jim was startled slightly as his animal guide sat on Blair’s left and a white wolf sat on his guide’s right. He heard a big purr within his thoughts and knew for sure that he was indeed jealous of his panther. Jim was saddened as Blair remained silent in his meditations.

Feeling completely safe allowed Blair to reach a deeper level of himself. He examined his fears and shortcomings honestly. He still could not find a reason he should stay. His reality became the temple.

Incacha stood before him, Eagle perched on his shoulder. “When I passed the way of the shaman to you, I had no idea how powerful you already were. I only deepened what was already there. A shaman is not only what you are, but who you are. You do yourself and your sentinel a disservice by denying this. You have yet to draw upon all that you are capable of.”

Blair’s expression challenged the validity of the spirit’s words.

Incacha nodded his understanding of Blair’s silent questions. “KaNee, what animals do you see here now?”

Blair answered, “My wolf, Enqueri’s panther and the eagle on your shoulder.”

“The eagle is my animal spirit guide. Enqueri has never seen it. Only you.” He sat down on the stone steps across from Blair. “KaNee, you are unique among shaman. Only one shaman in a hundred winters may hold the power you do. You are the only one that can see all the spirit guides. The current and the past, as you’re ability to see my own guide proves that.”

Blair looked to his wolf and Jim’s panther, then up to the eagle that followed his movements. He heard three different voices in his head that said the same words, “It is true.”

Incacha reached out and touched the dazed shaman before him with a slight smile now. “Your only shortcoming is the lack of belief in yourself. Trust your heart, follow your heart.”

“Incacha, I have failed my sentinel more than once.” The weight of those failures heavy in his voice.

“The failure can not be too great as your sentinel stands here today. The bond would have eliminated much of your doubts.” The spirit shaman stood, “Your natural instincts have served you well, better than some trained from birth. Allow yourself to believe, KaNee. You are the only guide that will serve the Sentinel, Enqueri, the only one he will ever listen to. He is headstrong, that one, but you have the strength to keep him safe.”

Blair opened his eyes to the clearing once more, animals still by his side, sentinel still on guard. He stood and received no immediate reaction from Jim. He rushed over, fearing a zone out. He placed his hand on Jim’s arm and said softly in his guide voice, “Jim are you with me?”

“I’m here, Blair. I haven’t zoned. You’ve been safe.” Jim told him as he took a complete look around with his senses.

Blair stoked the arm several times as he said confidently, “I felt completely safe here, Big Guy.”

The four headed back to the hut.

Blair took off his shoes and jeans before climbing into his bag. He tuned his head toward Jim, unsure how to ask. “Would you think me too much a chicken if I asked you to sleep closer. So I could tell I wasn’t alone?”

Jim moved his bag closer and placed his hand on his guide’s shoulder. “Okay?”

“Yeah, thanks, Jim.”

The older man squeezed the shoulder as he said softly but clearly, “Chief, you are one of the bravest men I know.”

Blair took those words to sleep. Jim waited for the sleeping cadence of Blair’s heart before drifting off to it.

\------

Blair awoke with the sun, Jim snoring beside him, hand still on his shoulder. He quietly got up and dressed. He needed to walk around and process all that’s happened the last few days. Incacha, the attack, Jim. Jim’s eyes had been so soft, his arms so caring. He had work out truth from fiction.

He walked to the clearing, confronting his own fear of being here alone. He paced about, no certain order to his meanderings. He found himself flanked by the wolf and panther. He never paused at their arrival, so used he was to their presence.

The attack was the easiest to deal with. It was like on the job. Danger came at him many different ways, though this attack was more personal, because he was a shaman. It was the same as being hated because he was a Jew or an Anthropologist. Hated for what he was. Not because he was Blair.

Now Incacha’s revelations were a different matter. The last seven days had shown him that he had developed effective ways to deal with sentinel problems. Now Incacha said that he was unique among shaman. Is this a good thing? Blair wasn’t sure but figured that as he had always been different than the norm as it is, what was one more oddity added to the long list?

Incacha’s advice was to: trust your heart, follow your heart. To follow my heart I would have to be with Jim, as he is the one that holds it. Where he goes, I go. Well, that's’ the answer then, because if I trust my heart, it tells me that is the only place I can be.

Incacha also said that I have the strength to keep him safe. It is certainly the wish within my heart, to protect him from all danger

I need to earn his trust again. I will, there is no other option. I must protect the Sentinel of the Great City. I am his guide.

With that decision, Blair felt centered. He sat, eyes closed, enjoying the outgrowth of self that went with the acceptance of what he was.

He opened his eyes as he felt the presence of another. It was another animal, an otter and behind him came a deer. In all, fifteen new animal spirit guides surrounded him. He tried to touch and greet each one. They interrupted the process with a warning of danger and enclosed him tighter within their circle.

Blair watched where they directed. A shaman approached, blow dart at the ready.

Blair watched the snake that traveled at his side and spoke to it. “You should tell him this is not the thing to do.”

“White man, who do you speak to?” The attacker asked.

“Your spirit guide, beside you.”

“You see my spirit guide,” fear entered his voice. Then bravado, “What kind of animal.” Thinking it was a lucky guess.

“A mighty python.” Blair answered, surrounded by seventeen guides, including Jim’s panther.

“All the more reason to kill you.” The angry shaman hissed.

\-----

“Your guide is in danger!”

A restless Jim froze and awoke knowing where to run. He grabbed the bow and quiver.

\-----

Curious, Blair asked, “Who does it benefit if I die?”

“You are all they have spoken of for the last five moons. Before then, I was a shaman of promise.” The Chopec was incensed by the foreign upstart.

“You still are, unless you continue on this course.” Blair explained calmly.

“I can replace you and guide the great Sentinel.”

Blair’s mind screamed, “NO! He’s mine.” Outwardly, the Shaman answered, “I do not believe that would work. Enqueri has a complicated life in the great city and unfortunately you would not blend in well.” Blair saw Jim approach and whispered into the panther’s ear, “Ask him to wait there. I must try.”

Blair figured his message was received as Jim froze in place but with his bow at the ready.

The warrior, Goweet sneered, “If you can do it, Shaman, I can. You are not better than me.”

“I am not better than you, but that is my world. I am better suited for it.” Blair answered patiently as the many spirit guides drew closer to the shaman. Their distress more obvious now.

Jim watched and knew that Blair was in great danger. Blair was his guide, his only guide. His own animal guide spoke inside his mind.

“Do not worry about him. We will keep him from harm. You only see his guide and me, but he is surrounded by fifteen other animal guides. Enqueri, remember this, if you die, he will also die. You must protect yourself also this day.”

Jim nodded only in his thoughts at his animal guide as he kept his eyes upon the threat to his guide’s life. His life actually. What a moment for an epiphany.

The Sentinel heard other tribe members approaching, obviously alerted by their spirit guides. The man whose heart was now in jeopardy, closed off all other thoughts and concentrated solely on the figure before him.

Jim raised his bow to take aim when Goweet realized the threat behind him. Furious at the Sentinel that should be his and was not, the angry shaman turned and blew his dart at Jim.

Blair yelled out, “NO!” The animals would not release him.

Blair watched Jim, Jim met his eyes in the second before the dart would hit him.

Only the dart didn’t hit Jim.

Goweet’s own spirit animal moved to shield the Sentinel and took the death-tipped dart instead. Killing his own spirit guide caved in Goweet's mind and he crumpled to the ground.

Fourteen Chopec men emerged from the brush to deal with Goweet’s body. Each shaman or guide paused a moment to look at Blair, each one seeing their own guide beside the shaman and the rescued shaman spoke his thanks to each animal guide as they departed.

Blair himself had eyes only for Jim.

After the quiet pandemonium settled, the other animal guides all took their leave, each one nudging or brushing the shaman as they left.

Jim spoke with Socaneri, trying to deal with explaining what happened but never taking his eyes off his guide.

Blair spoke up and explained, “His own animal guide took the dart.”

“The vision was correct. You are KaNee, seer of all spirit guides.” Socaneri seemed very pleased.

“KaNee?” Jim asked.

“True one.”

“That’s what Incacha called me last night.” Blair added.

“Yes, he visited me also. You are now content with yourself.” The Chopec stated it rather than asked.

“Yes,” Blair smiled, pleased that he meant it.

Finally it was just the four of them. Blair stood, wolf on his right, panther on his left and Jim walked towards them.

Jim took Blair’s face in both his hands and looked deep into the azure eyes, “You are my only guide. The only work partner I will ever accept. You are the love of my life and the other half of my soul. Tell me I haven’t lost the chance to spend the rest of my life showing you that.”

Those same azure eyes filled with more love than Jim had ever seen in his life. They met and held his gaze. Ice blue chips became the blue flames of fire as their eyes exchanged life promises.

Blair merged into Jim, Jim into Blair as their arms held lightly to their other half. Jim rained little kisses over his guide’s smiling face. Blair’s fingers worked the buttons on Jim’s shirt, pushing the obstruction off the skin he wanted to touch. Kissing and licking every inch of surface exposed.

Lips found each other, tongues met. This was no gentle first kiss of love, but the needful necessity of reaffirmation. Tongues plundered the furthest recesses of the other’s mouth; learning, memorizing the taste, texture.

Passions exploded, Jim couldn’t taste enough, couldn’t smell enough, couldn’t feel enough of Blair to satisfy him. He wanted inside his guide, connected.

Blair wanted to wrap himself within Jim’s skin, never separate again.

Shirts gone, pants gone, boxers gone, they fell naked to their knees together. They leaned in touching, a full body caress. The intense sensations threatened to burn out every synapse. Their mouths reconnected hungrily, lost without the taste of the other.

Jim needed to taste every inch of his soulmate. He licked his way down Blair’s neck. Then drawn by a force he couldn’t control, the sentinel had to investigate the hard nubs begging for attention. The purrs that he could feel through the skin as well as hear were enough alone to make him come. He forced himself downward, his nose seeking out the center of the hypnotic fragrance. His tongue followed the path of his nose, memorizing the taste, the scent, the feel. The low moans emitted from his love weakened his ability to fight off his own building orgasm.

Still on his knees, Blair bent backward, head touching ground, erection pulsing high to the heavens. A captive to the myriad of sensations that owned his body. Jim groaned himself as he buried his face in the dark curls that framed the evidence that he was wanted as much as he yearned for. The glistening drop waited just for him to taste, to remember. He took it and that which made it completely inside his mouth. Jim was unprepared for the wash of emotions that filled his being. Love, need, pride, ownership. Blair was his, now and forever.

All the fantasies that Blair had ever had couldn’t compete with the reality of that which was Jim. His mouth housing him, loving him. The building of fire in his veins couldn’t be contained and Blair yelled aloud Jim’s name as he exploded into the throat holding him tightly. Jim worked the shaft with his throat and tongue and his fingers caressed the taught sacs. The Sentinel milked every last bit of fluid giving Blair the best orgasm of his life. Watching the joy and amazement on his lover’s face as climax shook his body pushed Jim over the fine line of control and he erupted over his guide’s inner thighs.

The guide was incapable of speech, never had he experienced anything that could have prepared him for this. He blindly reached out with his hand to grab on to any part of Jim, to draw him close. Entwined together, the clearing that had held such horror, became one of healing.

Jim awoke to the pressure of his panther draped across his legs and his guide draped across his chest. Jim was content to stay as he was. He turned his head and met with two sparkling azure pools overfilled with love. Jim sucked in his breath. Air became even more difficult to get as Blair smiled at him. A smile that army’s would lay down their swords for, directed at him.

Emotion welled up within Jim and he smiled back. All his love radiated out and enclosed Blair completely, making the connection between them stronger.

Blair touched his love’s cheek gently, smiling, “We’re naked in the middle of a clearing. Think maybe we should head back to our hut?"

Jim looked around, actually seeing where they were and grinned sheepishly, “Probably not a bad idea.”

They collected their clothes and walked back, unconcerned at their lack of dress. Eyes only on each other. They were unaware of the contented, collective sigh that swept the village. The great Sentinel and his Shaman’s joining restored the positive energy and the tranquil air was back.

Blair and Jim were only aware of each other. They joined their sleeping bags together and laid down, thinking that they needed sleep, but their joy in one another took hold instead. Lips met in a long sensual kiss that ignited every pore with heat. They rubbed and licked, kissed and sucked their way around each other.

Jim, the man, the Sentinel wanted in. He wanted to be connected to his other half in every way. Blair, sensing this, opened his legs and pulled Jim tightly between them.

“I want it too. Join us.” The look of desire so strong, Jim could not doubt the words.

Jim looked about for something that could act as lubricant and found a bowl of an aloe-like substance. He smiled at someone’s thoughtfulness.

He scooped some onto his fingers and warmed it before pressing it against the tight entrance. Jim leaned over and kissed his love as he entered with one finger. He worked it gently until the finger moved in easily then added a second finger.

The kiss changed as Blair took it over, he sucked his lover’s tongue hard and pressed back on the fingers, wanting more. He increased the rhythm on Jim’s tongue as he murmured, “Want you in me, wantyouinmenow,” into his mouth.

Jim had three fingers in and searched for the pleasure spot. He brushed over it and Blair screamed Jim’s name as he sucked even harder on the tongue in his possession. So exquisite was the feeling of being devoured whole by his guide, the Sentinel nearly forgot where he was and what he was doing. Blair trying to press back hard enough to get Jim’s fist up his ass had Jim back in the here and now. He removed his hand altogether.

Blair’s moan of dismay released his hold on Jim’s tongue and the older man put it to good use sucking on a nipple. He sucked the nub harder as he placed his throbbing cock at his guide’s prepared entrance. He sucked and pushed, sensations exploding along nerve endings.

The Shaman was impatient and crossed his legs against Jim’s back and drove him all the way in. Blair could feel his lover’s balls pressed against his ass and cried out, “Oh yes, Jim.”

Jim felt as if he’d come home and took long slow strokes in and out, reveling in the incoherent sounds that his Blair made. In and out, back and forth, the center of his universe was here, in Blair.

The Shaman knew that his Sentinel didn’t have his dials open much and he wanted him to, so he whispered, “I’m so close, open your senses, experience it all.”

A good Sentinel follows his guide’s directions and Jim did as he was bid. He fisted the leaking cock as he opened all the way to feel the very essence of his love. Blair’s whispered, faster and harder were obeyed as his other directions.

Jim was sensation. Blair could see that as he watched Jim build. The guide wanted to hold on, but the fire in his blood boiled over and he went with it. The clamping of Blair’s passage about his shaft was the last thing Jim remembered as he too boiled over. Then as the last drops were to leave their bodies, they felt the bond-links forged and cemented. One. They each had their wish to be part of the other. One soul, shared by both. Soulmates.

Howls and cries of spirit guides washed the midday air. All was right.

\---------

Cascade

Two smiling men greeted the Major Crimes Captain. He was relieved to see his men looking so relaxed and comfortable with each other. Simon had been honestly worried about his best detective team and had hoped that they would come to the same conclusion that the rest of the Major Crimes Unit had, they belonged together in every way.

Simon chuckled to himself as Ellison and Sandburg picked up their luggage, half of the unit already thought that they were together. Simon would have to check the pool for who had the time span in Peru. There was no missing the smoldering looks exchanged by the two men.

Blair gave his Captain one of his huge, genuine smiles, “Thanks, Simon. The time in Peru was very productive. In fact, better than I expected.” He looked at Jim and smiled one of those insides smiles and Simon watched as Jim squeezed his partner’s shoulder.

When Simon pulled up in front of their place, Jim said, “How about dinner tomorrow night. Too tired to even ask you in right now.”

Simon agreed and they arranged to meet at ‘Charlie’s ‘ at six pm the next day. Both waved as he drove away.

Sandburg and Ellison entered the loft and dropped their stuff just inside the door. Jim pushed Blair gently against the wall, but the kiss was anything but. He devoured his lover’s mouth, the one stolen kiss on the plane not enough to assuage the desperate need to taste his guide again.

Blair equally aggressive, dueled Jim’s tongue for plundering rights.

The next time that Jim was aware of himself, his shirt was gone and his jeans were half way off. He whispered in his guide’s ear, “I want our first time here to be up in our bed.”

Blair cranked out his killer smile as he answered with a question, “Our bed?”

“Yeah, OUR. Will you move upstairs?”

“Just try to keep me outta there.”

“Never, Chief.”

They moved as one, clothes littered the stairway as they reached the bed bare. Their bodies came together as if for the first time. So excited they could hardly make it past the fist kiss. Cocks aligned, their bodies created the age old rhythm and the kiss was hardly over when they too were pushed over. Each yelled the other’s name as their fluids mixed.

Too lethargic to move, Jim used a pillow case to clean the excess and spooned in behind his heart and entwined together, they slept.

\-----

Two weeks later

Blair was catching up on paperwork, only ten days back and they’d already managed to have a stack of it. Jim had fobbed off his portion on his partner. His excuse was he had to be in court all day.

Midway through the day, Blair headed for records to pick up the files he’d requested. He took the stairs for the exercise. He was shocked to see a wolf descending the stairs with him. His spirit guide.

// There’s danger. // That was the only thought projected.

“Whose?” The Shaman asked aloud.

His worry deepened as Jim’s panther joined the wolf, blocking his way.

// Jim. Danger. //

That was enough for Blair. He was up and running back to Major Crimes and rushed into Simon’s office.

“What the….” Simon barked.

“Something’s wrong at the courthouse. We have to get over there now.” Blair told his Captain, breathing heavily.

“What’s happened?” Simon asked as he stood, taking Blair at his word.

“Not sure. Snitch said, a danger to Jim. That’s all I got and I’m going over there.” Blair checked his gun as he headed for the door.

Simon called out, “Conner, Taggert, courthouse now. Something’s going down.” The Captain turned to Sandburg, only to find him gone.

Blair went down to the basement and used the adjoining underground tunnel to get into the courthouse. He knew that Jim was on the forth floor, so he took the stairs up. He exited the stairwell and headed to Courtroom C, where Jim was supposed to be.

He saw Jim come out of the adjoining room with a Marshall. Stepping out from an alcove was a gunman, gun trained on the approaching Ellison.

Blair sprinted and pushed Jim out of the path of the discharged bullet. The panther and wolf knocked the Shaman at the same time, moving him enough that the bullet hit his arm, not his chest.

The Marshall flanking Ellison fired upon and killed the gunman before Blair hit the floor.

Jim had seen the gunman at the moment he was tackled. He had know something was wrong, just not what. Face down, he didn’t see who hit him but knew it was his guide by his smell. As the first drop of blood hit the floor, Jim knew his partner was hit.

Jim screamed, “Blair? Jesus, Chief, talk to me.” He rolled over to see Blair holding his arm close to his body as his upper arm bled.

Blinking blues checked his Sentinel over, looking for any harm done.

“Officer down, need a medic,” Jim commanded as he gently checked the rest of his guide’s body for any other injury.

“Jim, you’re okay? I’m fine.” He tried to get up but Jim kept him down. He took off his jacket to cushion his partner’s head.

“Chief, just take it easy. Help is on the way.” A pause, then Jim asked, “You crazy man, what are you doing here?” The Sentinel needed to keep making sure that his guide, his mate, was really okay. He kept his hands on Blair’s body and a constant tuning in to his mate’s heartbeat.

Blair lowered his voice and Jim bent closer for Blair’s sake, “The guides, yours and mine, they came and got me. They knew before it happened.” The look of wonder in the azure eyes had them sparkling brightly.

Simon, Taggert and Conner rushed in along with the paramedics.

“Sandburg, what the hell happened?” The Captain yelled out.

The Blessed Protector took exception to the tone directed at his injured guide and Jim took a breath intending to chew out anyone that yelled at his guide in such a way when a warm hand rubbed back and forth on his thigh.

“I’m okay, calm a bit. I’m okay.” Said for sentinel ears.

Jim smiled down into the loving eyes and said more calmly, only an edge of the irritation leaking out. “My partner saved my life. That dead guy over there was in the process of shooting me when Blair appeared out of nowhere and tackled me to the floor, getting shot in the process….” his voice became a touch uneven, “Shot with the bullet meant for me.”

The horror of the moment struck Jim as he realized what his words meant. Blair, his love, his life, almost died here. But before he could wallow in the guilt of inadvertently causing his guide pain, two guides sounded loudly in his head.

// We wouldn’t let him die. //

“Okay then,” was said lowly, directed to the animal guides.

Jim was then forced to relinquish his hold on his partner as the paramedics were trying to take him away.

Taggert and Conner flanked Jim as Joel said, “Let’s beat them to the hospital.”

Remembering why he was here in the first place, “I am suppose to be in there.”

Simon said, “Go, Jim. I’ll take care of this.”

Joel and Megan took Jim out of the courthouse.

\-----

The emergency admitting nurse saw Detective Ellison rushing in and said aloud, “Oh shit.”

She didn’t know which was worse of the two. When Ellison was hurt, Sandburg was always talking to the doctors about the medications. What he can take and what doesn’t mix well. Ellison just demanded to be with his partner every step of the way.

She already had Sandburg’s hospital file out as he hit the counter. Before the worried detective could speak, she handed him the paperwork and said, “Step on it.”

The ambulance rolled in and Jim was waiting at the doors, catching Blair’s eyes as soon as the back door to the vehicle opened. The Sentinel was relieved that his guide looked no worse than when he’d left. He followed the gurney to the operating room and watched as the doctor removed the bullet.

The staff just ignored the hovering detective as they knew it was a losing battle to fight him. Some were a little awed at the depth of caring.

Jim finished the paperwork as the staff moved him to recovery. He let Simon, Joel and Megan know that Blair was okay. “They’re moving him now. He can come home tonight.”

The visitors sank in their seats relieved, Jim’s attitude more telling than anything the doctor might say.

Simon filled Jim in on his testifying, “Tomorrow, you’re up first. The Judge understood fine about today. Didn’t look good for Jefferies.”

“But I have to stay with Sandburg.” Jim told him.

“Taggert and Connor have offered to stay while you’re gone. All is well.” Simon knew that he had to get under that Blessed Protector mode Jim went into every time that his partner got hurt. Jim nodded.

Jim was back beside his partner as soon as the doctor left. Simon, Joel and Megan visited briefly and then headed back to the office. Blair was in the most capable hands of his partner.

That evening, after much protesting, Jim finally relented that Blair could watch TV. His guide tried to remind his Big Lug that it was a minor wound, but the Blessed Protector mode was still in operation.

Jim was never more happy than when he finally got Blair into bed for the evening. With his guide’s head on his chest, under his chin, feet mixed together. He brushed the chestnut locks repeatedly.

The Shaman loved the caresses.

Jim whispered his fear, “Blair, you could have been killed. I won’t make it without you.”

“Hey, Jim, I can’t make it without you either. But don’t you get what happened today?”

Jim shook his head, just dwelling on the feel of his lover’s hair between his finger’s.

“Our bond, our connection is so much stronger. The guides were there. Jim, our sentinel/guide thing is so much more intense now. We’ll continue to get these hints to help protect each other.” He kissed Jim’s hand. “There is no part of me that doesn’t love you.”

“Blair, these last three weeks, it feels like I finally found what I was missing all my life. The broken puzzle that was Jim Ellison is complete. It’s you Blair, you were the missing piece. Together. I can’t think of us any other way.”

Blair was breathless, “God, Jim, when you decide to use words…It’s the same for me. You’re my missing piece. And I know that I can be what you need. Yeah, man, together. That’s us.”

fini

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Mary for the beta.


End file.
